Healing Insights #6

Emotional Healing: Part III – What A Healing Journey Looks Like – My Personal Journey

There appears to be a lot of confusion and frustration about what the healing process actually looks like. Since the previous 2 blogs, “Emotional Healing: The Missing Link in Most People’s Life” and “Emotional Healing: Part II – Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole”, folks have been asking for more. How do you get started? What program did you follow? If you are struggling it is usually in one or more the following three biggies: (1) you got health issues-physical, mental, emotional, (2) you struggle with certain relationships, and (3) you lack passion for your direction in life. All three rooted, at a fundamental level, in the unresolved emotional business from the past. 

You read the self-help books, you see psychologists, you see psychiatrists, you join support groups, you look for videos on YouTube, you Google for answers on the internet, you follow your newest relationship guru podcast, you talk to your priest or rabbi, you talk to your friends, you’re in one form a therapy or another. Maybe you feel like you are making progress, maybe not. It’s still not crystal clear in the grey matter between your ears exactly what the healing journey “looks” and “feels” like. You’re stuck. 

You know it’s a problem because you keep on creating and re-creating the same unfulfilling, unhealthy outcomes. Whatever you are doing is not working. At the same time you see the photos and cover stories of all the popular, wealthy, seemingly successful and fulfilled beautiful people that keep popping up each time you open your internet browser. You hope that things will get better.

For the record I don’t believe in the concept of “hope” to get things done. Why? It’s because relying on hope implies that you have no power to change anything in your life. I do believe in “faith” …faith in process. Energy expended on hope, in my opinion, is wasted energy. On the other hand you do have power in your ability to be pro-active, take action, and implement a “process” that can change outcomes based upon an accurate understanding of the truth about what is really going on, beginning with the truth about you.

Transparency

For full disclosure, I am neither a formally trained psychologist nor psychiatrist. What I’m about to share is what I figured out on my own during my personal healing journey with a willingness to (1) ask the hard questions, (2) seek and understand the truth about my perceptions, or mis-perceptions about myself and the world around me, that evolved as a consequence of my particular set of circumstances growing up, and the answers that were revealed along the way, and (3) do the hard work, “chop wood, carry water”. I can only speak from my personal experience, although there appears to be commonalities shared by others whom I have met along the way who have travelled similar paths and achieved various levels of healing.

My early experience

At age 20, I thought that by age 25 I would have the world by the balls, and so on and so forth, from 25 to 30, 30 to 35, and 35 to 40. By age 40 it became painfully obvious that I was the only one with my testicles in a vice grip. Emotionally exhausted, and psychologically and energetically drained. A painful realization…and a starting point. That definition of insanity “doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different outcome” described my past 20 years of expending tremendous amounts of energy in the pursuit of that which I was not aware of at the time: filling the void and emptiness of not loving myself, through “accomplishing”. 

My distractions

At age 40 I finally arrived at a place in my life where despite all the accomplishments (“achievaholism” was my primary obsessive-compulsive behavior) and success I had created, I could not distract myself from the underlying pain any longer. The pain I had inadvertently buried and remained in denial about. The distractions looked like workaholism (a natural bedfellow to “achievaholism”), being “successful” by making lots of money, extreme adventures (jumping out of airplanes = skydiving, jumping off bridges = bungi jumping, hitchhiking around America, Australia, and New Zealand, etc.), fast cars & faster motorcycles, dating exotic and high-profile women, pounding the weights in the gym to grow the muscles (one girlfriend described me as her “workout Nazi”. Over 5 years of brutal weightlifting I went from 155lbs to 198lbs packing on the muscle …no extreme behavior there!!!). 

The slide to the bottom

I existed in a continual state of lack of fulfillment in my work and in my relationships, both personal and professional, as well as emotional isolation. I felt disliked, misunderstood, and unappreciated (some of my misperceptions at the time). Over time I did learn that there were people that did love and care about me and accept me despite my bad behavior and character flaws. But at that time I was so preoccupied in my own pain I could not experience their love based upon the following metaphysical principle: Two energy configurations of different quality, such as Love and hate or Love and pain, cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

Worse was the aloneness of feeling emotionally disconnected to the people and the world around me despite the façades I projected: Mr. Macho, Mr. Perfect, Dr. Successful, and Mr. I’m Ok. At the same time others experienced me as Mr. Arrogant, Mr. Self-absorbed, Mr. Critical, Mr. Condescending, Mr. Impatient, Mr. Intolerant, Mr. Insensitive…you get the picture. I was arrogant, critical, condescending, impatient, intolerant, and insensitive at times back then. The core driver triggering these unhealthy responses and behaviors was the underlying anger. And, beneath the anger lies the lack of self-worth and self-Love.

What hitting bottom feels like 

How it all came to a head one day was during a meeting with my business partner to determine our business strategy for the upcoming year. Then he asked one question, “What would you like to do?” As my emotions welled-up inside and having been miserable for some time what blurted out next, as if I had no control, “I can’t do this anymore.” I sat there and cried for a while. Yup, that was hitting bottom. What came as a surprise to me, after I stopped crying was the sense of relief I experienced as a natural consequence of having, probably for the first time in my life, (appropriately) expressed feelings and the emotional pain that had been bottled-up and building for many years. What it led to next is what I called my “come-to-Jesus” meeting…. taking that deep dive and a hard look at what “was” and “was not” working in my life and questioning how I got there.

The most important question

Having finally hit bottom and having “surrendered” my will and desire to control my world and the pursuit of accomplishing to find fulfillment through my endeavors, I asked myself one simple question “What do you really want?” The response that sprung forth from the depth of my being without any thought effort on my part, I just want to be at peace with myself in my own heart, in every situation, with everyone, at all times, without exception.”That’s it. Not that complicated. Pretty clear and direct. That was my starting point. It wasn’t about money, wealth, success or fame. At that very moment my essence and my total being knew, without hesitation or reservation, that being at peace with myself in my own heart was the ultimate goal. The pursuit of which became the guiding light, the direction. Having specific direction, all I needed to do was figure out how to get there. The initial “how to” showed up as a series of realizations that became the bedrock for creating the foundation necessary for the journey to come. 

What do you really want? It all begins with this question. It’s your choice. You need to ask that question and only you know the answer. This is not about what your culture, society, government, religion, parents, teachers, or anyone else has molded into your thinking and perceptions about what the answer to that question “should” be for you. Only you know, and it’s time to speak up for yourself. It’s time for you to recognize that you do have power that you have not yet realized, exercised, and utilized for your benefit and for the benefit of others. You see, part of your struggle with even getting started in the first place is tied to the fact that you may not be aware of all the various ways in which you have been conditioned to willingly relinquish your power earlier on. Also, you may not be crystal clear on what you really want based upon what your struggles are really all about at an essential level.

Realization #1a: Plan “A” isn’t working

Everything that I had created over the past 20 years of my adult life (call it Plan “A”) wasn’t working. It had all been created and accomplished from a place of pain. The pain, I would later learn along the journey, being the unresolved emotional business from the past. Therefore, continuing down the same path would only create more of the same struggle and misery. So my choices became crystal clear. I could no longer do Plan A. In fact, that was my only option. Well then, what was Plan “B”? There was no Plan B since this was all uncharted territory. The only thing I knew for sure was that I just couldn’t do Plan A anymore. Therefore Plan B became not doing Plan A anymore. 

This was the first of several realization that were revealed to me to help me on my journey of self-discovery. I use the term “revealed” because these realizations just showed up in the gray matter between my ears. I believe that these realizations were revealed as necessary insights that were instrumental to the healing journey required to find peace in my heart. I also believed that these realizations were revealed as a direct result and natural consequence of (1) me having given up control and having surrendered my will, shall we say to a “greater power”, whatever that means, and (2) based upon the authenticity and clarity of my original intention, asking the “right” questions in inviting the universe to “bring it on” (see Realization #4).

My take on how the universe responds to our questions is that every word you speak and every thought you think is a real think that is released into the universe. Every word and every thought (we think in terms of pictures and words but communicate concepts and express ourselves primarily through words) has an energy configuration and structure that describes itself qualitatively. The only thing that the universe can do is manifest outcomes that are consistent and in alignment with the integrity or quality of the energy configuration of your original thought and intention. Answers may come in various forms that you may or may not recognize and over a timeline that may or may not be in sync with your timeline expectation. So, if it appears that the universe is not responding to your question, rest assured that the universe does respond in some manner and form that you may not be able to recognize based upon (1) the question you asked, (2) how you framed the question, and/or (3) the quality of your energy at the time you asked the question. Realize that you may need to recontextualize the question(s) or your may be not asking the appropriate or “right” question(s) for which you are seeking answers. 

Realization #1b: Letting go of Plan “A” stuff

Subsequently, I sold my business, sold my home and gave away all my furniture, sold the motorcycle and the rest of the toys, ended the relationship with my girlfriend (most dysfunctional relationship to date) and took the “Road Less Travelled”, M. Scott Peck. I did keep my car and some of my clothes and personal possessions. I disengaged from everything I had created up until that point in time and cut myself loose from all the attachments and encumberments. Why? My intuitive sense was that I needed to free myself up from all attachments and encumberments to be available and receptive to whatever direction was going to reveal itself next, that uncharted territory. You may not need to be this extreme based upon your personal unique situation. Only you can know. I was fortunate because I was neither married nor raising a family at that time, so I did not have to contend with the multiple and complex challenges of dealing with those responsibilities. In many ways my personal situation was a blessing because it was less complicated that most. I had a level of freedom that most may not have when hitting a crisis point in their life.

Realization #2I have the Power

Along with realization #1 came realization #2: Everything I experienced in my life, the good the bad and the ugly, I had contributed to the creation of in some way. If that were true, and inherent in fully embracing that concept, was the understanding and direct implication that since I had contributed to the creation of all outcomes, I must naturally also possess the power to create or recreate anything and everything in my life that wasn’t working for me. That would make me and only me responsible at some level and in some way for everything I experience. I’m not talking about those things that happen in the world that you have no control over because you are not in charge of. Hey, most of the things that will ever happen in the world – the good, the bad and the ugly – you have no control over. No matter what happens in the world that affects me in any way, it doesn’t matter what anyone else does or does not do. When it comes to my experience of life and that which I am in charge of (my perceptions, my interpretation of events based upon my perceptions, and how I choose to respond), it only matters what I do.

The Serenity Prayer

(commonly quoted version)

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.

So then, what is it that I need to change in my thinking and understanding of the way things work in the universe to be able to create a happier, healthier, more fulfilling experience of life? How do I change my perceptions?

Realization #3It’s all about Responsibility

It starts with and is ultimately about personal RESPONSIBILITY! Based upon realizations #1 and #2, if I truly had the power, and was in charge of creating my experience of life, then the first paradigm shift that would need to take place in my world view of how things work would be to accept 100% responsibility and 100% accountability. 100% responsibility and accountability for every emotion I feel, every thought I think, every word I speak, and every behavior and action I take in every situation, at all times, without exception. No more blame game. Accepting 100% responsibility and accountability is essentially a black & white decision. There is no gray zone here. You’re either all in or you’re not. As soon as I committed myself to this way of being and showing up and engaging in the world as a totally responsible human being things started to change. The first thing I experienced was that on a day-to-day basis my life flowed better, in little ways. Life was becoming less of a struggle. The challenges were still there. It didn’t mean that I had all the answers. I did mean that I was going in the right direction.

Realization #4Asking the universe for help

Now that I had clear direction and had stepped up to the plate to take total ownership of every aspect of my life, and having disengaged from Plan A, the next question was “What do I need to learn that may not currently exist in my reality and understanding that I would need to know to be able to create a healthier and more fulfilling experience of life?” So I had a serious conversation with the universe, and I asked the following question. 

“What do I need to learn, what do I need to know, what do I need to experience, and what do I need to do to turn my life around, recreate everything and anything that is not working for me, and experience peace in my heart?”

And then, I invited the universe to “bring it on”, without reservation, no matter what it was, or what it looked like, or what it felt like. I asked that specific question in that specific way because I had already adopted an understanding and belief that the universe functions based upon the following metaphysical principles:

  1. There is an answer to every question and a solution to every problem. This is so because a question cannot exist without an answer already existing in the universe; and likewise, a problem cannot exist without a solution already existing in the universe, and
  2. The answer to every question lies in possessing an intimate and comprehensive understanding of all aspects of the question. 
  3. The solution to every problem lies in possessing an intimate and comprehensive understanding of every aspect of the problem.
  4. Our thoughts are real things that possess a specific energy configuration and a specific energy quality that once released into the universe, the only thing the universe can do is manifest an outcome that’s consistent with the quality, integrity, authenticity, and configuration of the energy of the original intention.  

And the journey continues

Over time, events, situations, circumstances, experiences, and people started showing up in my life (when the student is ready the master(s) will appear) that would provide additional insights and the opportunities to implement my commitment to 100% responsibility and 100% accountability for all my feelings, thoughts, words, and actions. Additional questions, revelations, and realizations not previously identified arose as a natural consequence of being on the journey seeking only the truth.  What happened over time is that based upon carrying out specific implementations, beginning with healing communications with mom & dad, and then with others where closure was needed, healing paradigm shifts occurred in my energy.

I also got in the habit of setting daily healthy loving intentions describing how I intend to show up on a daily basis in my interactions with everyone at all times and in ever situation…  “being the most loving, kind, considerate, compassionate, thoughtful, helpful, mindful, sensitive, observant human being I can possibly be with everyone at all times and in every situation”.  This approach embraces the metaphysical concept that “it’s not possible to continue to do good, positive healthy things, again and again and again and ultimately end up with a negative result”. By doing so I was eventually able to see, experience and accept the truth about myself, all of it. And in being able to see the truth about myself I was able to see the truth about others and the world around me. I awoke. I am “awake”. 

Having shared all that I have shared please know and I am no Pollyanna. No rose-colored glasses or delusions. Being human has its challenges, its struggles, and its pain. It’s all part of the game of life on planet earth. That’s essentially why you and I are here, to figure it out. The ultimate truth being that truth is Love. So have I arrived? Well, let me put it this way. While life on planet earth will always have its challenges, I seem to struggle less than most folks. In addition to being at peace with myself in my own heart and experiencing fulfillment in my endeavors, my life flows more smoothly than ever before, my relationships are healthier than ever before, and I have also learned the secret to creating abundance in all areas of my life…a topic for another discussion. Enjoy.

Your starting point: The 3 questions you need to ask

  1. What do you really want in your life above all else?
  2. Are you willing to do what you need to do in order to get what you want?
  3. Are you willing to accept 100% responsibility and 100% accountability for all your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions? 

For more healing insights, some of the above is an excerpt from my updated book The Optimal Life, Empowering Health, Healing & Longevity now available on amazon as both kindle and soft cover.

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.
― C.G. Jung

Healing Insights #5

Emotional Healing: Part II – Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole

If you haven’t read my previous blog posting “Emotional Healing: The Missing Link in Most People’s Life” (consider it Part I) you will find it a useful pretext for this article. If you have read it, carry on! Most of the feedback that arose from that article was related to the What’s Next question. We all know when we are struggling (think stuckness). I’m not talking about “challenges” here. Challenges are the things we are confronted with, resolve, overcome and move forward. Life is full of challenges. It’s the nature of being born human on planet earth. Struggles are what challenges become when either (1) the challenges go unresolved, and we get bogged down and stuck in non-resolution or (2) we are making unhealthy or bad decisions. Both scenarios cause emotional distress. Struggling is an indication that you are not dealing with truth. It is also an indication that you are making decisions that do not serve your higher purpose. We all believe we make good, justifiable healthy decisions based upon what we believe the truth to be…the truth about ourselves, others, and the world around us. But are we really dealing with truth and making healthy decisions? If you are not attracting the healthy outcomes that you believe you should be getting, maybe it’s time to question what you think you know.

So You Think You Make Healthy Decisions!

Most adults believe they are making intellectually based (think your conscious mind) objective, rational, reasonable, accurate, appropriate, mindful, logical decisions in response to the circumstances surrounding the decision making. Your conscious mind is where your intellect resides. Each and every one of your adult decisions, when you are in a triggered emotional state, are actually heavily influenced (up to 90-95%) from the depths of your subconscious mind where the emotionally driven wounded “inner child” lurks, waiting for the opportunity to be heard.  

Your “Inner Child”

Inside every grown man is a little boy. Inside every adult woman is a little girl. If you haven’t addressed and healed the emotional and/or psychological traumas from childhood, it’s your inner child that takes over (reacting vs responding) when your adult is being emotionally triggered. Although an original trauma happened at one point in time in the past (and may even be a reoccurring event) the emotional “wound” in essence leaves an emotional “scar” that does not heal (as for example a minor scratch on the skin wound heals automatically and leaves no scarring). People are emotionally triggered by different events for different reason. Your emotional triggers are of highly personal and intimate nature and directly related to whatever your original trauma looked and felt like, the circumstances surrounding the trauma, the severity and how you experience it, and how it was dealt with, or not dealt with, at that time and after the fact. So where did it all start?

Family Dynamics

During your earliest years of life, you simply learned/formulated, at the subconscious level, behavior patterns that were essentially emotional, psychological, and physiological survival coping mechanisms in direct response to the energy matrix of your early environment and the traumas that occurred at that time. This includes changes in your cellular physiology during embryological development that had the potential to manifest as different illnesses and disease processes. It all began in the womb from that moment you were conceived. As a fetus, from moment of conception, and for the entire gustation period you were engulfed in and saturated within all the emotional energy and feelings that your mother experienced 24/7 for that 9+/- months. Was mommy pleased, excited, happy, joyous, healthy (pain-free, disease-free, medication-free) or was she fearful, sad, depressed, frustrated, angry, abused, unhealthy and medicated. Whatever it looked like, you experienced it all. This also includes the emotional energy halo effect of whatever relationship dynamics was happening at the time between your mother and your father, including your father’s energy, which you can only guess at what that must have been like. Was daddy loving, kind, patient, tolerant, supportive, and available or was he angry, critical, impatient, intolerant, and abusive (mentally, emotionally, physically, or sexually)? …you get the drift. The implication is that you came out of the womb from day one with every cell in your body encoded with emotional cellular memory.

The Energetic Environment & Victim

So, what was the energetic nature of the environment within which you (1) were emersed during embryological development in the womb, (2) during childbirth, (3) during infancy, and (4) early childhood while you were growing up? What was your family dynamics? Food for thought. It will provide you valuable and necessary insights into your personal healing journey ahead. Keep in mind that we all start out on planet earth as inescapable “victims” (totally powerless, vulnerable and at the mercy of our environment) for at least the first several years of our existence. Yes, it is true, that in the purest sense of the word you were a 100% victim at that time in your life. And, since most of our parents never enrolled in God’s school on how to raise emotionally healthy empowered kids, well you get the picture and welcome to life on planet earth.  

Early Behavior Patterns for Survival

Those early survival patterns (some appropriate, some inappropriate) consequently got hardwired into the neuropathways in your brain. Now as an adult, some of them serve you, most of them don’t. That wounded inner child is just hiding out in the subconscious realm of the adult version of you, just waiting to take over when your adult self gets emotionally triggered by some external circumstance or event. Something you need to know. Your inner child operates on reactionary autopilot. When you are being emotionally triggering, many involving interactions with other humans, you are probably not getting the healthiest, best or optimal outcome that is possible. Every event has an optimal outcome potential. Each and every relationship in your life has an optimal relationship potential which determines its optimal outcome potential. 

To be able to identify the optimal potential of any situation or relationship it needs to be seen and experienced through “objective” eyes of the healed adult, something not possibly seen through the eyes of the wounded inner child. As the enlightened ones describe it…you need to be “awake” to see Truth.

Perceptions, Misperceptions & How the World Works

What you experienced emotionally as a child determines the perceptions and misperceptions that you hold sacred about yourself, others, and the world around you. Your perceptions and misperceptions become the basis for the concepts you formulated over time (this is how you connected the dots in your own mind when figuring out who you are, where you fit in the world, and how things work) about how life is and how life “should be”. These concepts become the basis for your beliefs. Your beliefs determine your behaviors and whether you either react or respond to different stimuli in various situations.

Example: One of the biggest misperceptions and consequent concepts that cause people emotional and psychological distress is the misguided belief that things in the world should be “fair”. Why? The concept of fair is a contrivance of man that does not exist in the natural order of things. You, personally, can choose to be fair in how you treat others and the world around you (it’s your prerogative), but really have no right to expect that from others. Dropping the unrealistic expectation that you should be treated fairly will save you a lot of anguish.

You Do Not Have to Remain a Victim, The Choice is Yours

Although we all started out as victims, each one of us can choose otherwise. As an adult you have power. You have power that you did not have as a child. As the adult you have the power to heal. As an adult you can choose to be 100% responsible and accountable for all your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions. As an adult you have the power to change, to recreate anything and everything in your life that has not worked for you in the past…beginning with changing the inaccurate perceptions you hold about yourself that contribute to the myriad of life’s struggles within which you are currently enmeshed. It begins with accepting 100% responsibility and accountability. It’s a choice. You choose. So, if you are still struggling in any area of your life, it is an indication that you may still be carrying some lingering manifestations of a victimhood mentality from your earlier years into your adult life. Well it’s time to grow up and take charge of both your adult and inner child. 

Healing Insights Blog #4

Emotional Healing: The Missing Link in Most People’s Life

Are you struggling in some area of your life? Struggle looks like different things for different folks at different times, but rest assured everyone struggles. You struggle with obesity, sickness and disease. You struggle with relationships. You struggle with lack of fulfillment. You struggle with depression. You struggle with the negative thoughts in the grey matter between your ears. You struggle with your job. You struggle with not enough money. You struggle with too much money. Any of it familiar? Struggle, struggle, struggle. One of Jordan Peterson’s repeating messages to his audiences is the incontrovertible fact that “life is difficult” and “life is suffering”. 

As the saying goes “life’s a bitch and then you die”.  Life on planet earth is a struggle. If everything that happens in the universe has meaning and purpose, then why? A wise evolved soul once explained that the reason you come into this world “… is to figure it out, work through your struggles and challenges” …and once accomplished, once you “get it right” you don’t come back…no need to once you have worked it all out. Hmmm, interesting perspective. I guess that’s the karma-reincarnation thing…the karmic version of the movie Groundhog Day! starring Bill Murray. If you have not seen the movie, highly recommended; if you have seen the movie, watch it again. It is relevant to this conversation. The good things that finally happen in the life of the character that Bill Murray portrays is the result of the paradigm shift that occurs as a natural consequence once he “gets it right”.

So, what lies at the root cause of all the struggles? A deeper dive would reveal a direct correlation and association with the (1) underlying feelings of the anger, fear, guilt, or shame being triggered from the depths of your emotional cellular memory that you carry with you at all times, in combination with (2) the inaccurate perception you hold about yourself, other, and the world around you. Here is why this can be confusing. When you are feeling one of those emotions being triggered by some event/person/thing in the present moment, it’s really not about that event/person/thing in the present moment. What is being triggered is a feeling from the past that is tied to an earlier event/person/thing from the past that is being triggered in the present moment. 

Substitute the word “suffering” for struggle and you have the Buddhist point of view that “…all suffering is temporary, and all suffering is self-induced”. My own life’s experiences have borne witness to that perspective. Now substitute the word “stuckness” for “suffering”.

If you are feeling stuck in your life it is because you are. Now ask yourself “Where am I feeling stuck?” If you are not feeling stuck, good for you. Maybe you have worked it out, worked through it as they say. Maybe not.  If so, good for you, hope it lasts. For many it may not. If you are feeling stuck, where are you stuck? Is it health? Is it relationships? Is it money? Is it fulfillment? Is it direction in life? Most likely a combo pack of more than one of the above. Well, no matter where you are stuck rest assured it is related in some way to some unresolved emotional business from the past that results in an emotional incompletion from childhood that still exists in you as an adult. 

When you were a child, and powerless, you may have been a victim of an event/person/thing that happened to you. If so, yes that was unfortunate and a sad commentary. That’s where the anger, fear, guilt, or shame comes from. But as an adult you have power. You have power that you did not have as a child. As the adult you have the power to heal. As an adult you have the power to change, to recreate anything and everything that has not worked for you in the past…beginning with changing the inaccurate perceptions you hold about yourself that contribute to the struggles within which you are currently enmeshed.

That unresolved emotional business from the past = the unresolved emotional pain (anger, fear, guilt, or shame) from the past (early childhood years) that most folks have no awareness of because it has been tucked away, buried in your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is where 90% of your decision making is influenced. The adult in you believes that your perceptions are accurate and therefore the interpretations you assign to events in your life currently are being made from your rational, thinking mind…not so! Although buried away, your pain is expressing itself ongoing through one or many of the above “stucknesses” that you continue experiencing into adulthood. And, as long as you ignore it nothing will change in your life. 

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
― C.G. Jung

There you go. The primary impediment at a foundational level that all of your “stucknesses”, no matter what they look like, are hinged upon is your unresolved emotional business for the past

That is why “emotional healing” is the answer to the “stuckness” problem. Here is what “unstuck” looks and feels like. Your salvation lies in the fact that you were born human. The beautiful thing about the human condition is that you can take your power back, if and when you choose!

To begin the journey of emotional healing there are a couple of requirements: 

  1. Do you have an open mind and are willing to explore and invite the universe to reveal the truth about the “what’ “why” and “how” related to the experiences in your early life that contributed to those events/persons/things which requires the emotional healing? 
  2. Once revealed, do you have the courage to hear, face and deal with that truth and then seek an appropriate “implementation” (implementations specific to your past history) that will bring your emotional incompletion(s) to completion? If you do, you will experience the dissipation of the painful energy associated with the events of your past. This will lead to an energetic paradigm shift in your perspective about how you see yourself, others, and the world around you. Only then will you have taken back your power! 
  3. To be successful, your willingness and desire to get out of emotional pain must be greater than whatever the psychological benefit derived from staying in the pain. Ultimately, the choice is yours.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
― C.G. Jung

If you are willing and ready to do the spiritual heavy lifting, the mindful Zen “chop wood and carry water” on the journey to greater awareness through the process of “emotional healing” the benefits derived are profound, life changing and numerous and will look and feel like:

  • Greater self-confidence
  • Less sickness and disease
  • More rewarding and loving relationships
  • Less triggers
  • Peace of mind
  • More compassion for self and others
  • Peace in your heart
  • More appreciation for others
  • More appreciation for the world around you
  • More gratitude
  • Being in harmony with the world around you…flow
  • The ability to attract greater abundance in your life*

*The secret to attracting greater abundance in all areas of your life, based upon one simple universal principle, will be the topic of an upcoming blog.

If you are so inclined, please share this blog with family, friends and loved ones for whom this sharing may help connect-the-dots in a way that may help them through their struggles.

Healing Insights Blog #3

At the end of this blog you will find a short list of effective biohacks to strengthen your natural immunity.

By now, common consensus among many health professionals and experts in the fields of microbiology, biochemistry, virology, vaccinology, immunology, epidemiology, etc. is that your body’s natural immunity is the best defense against contracting and/or dealing with the symptoms when confronted with exposure to Covid…but this assumes that you are “healthy” to begin with.

We know from all the morbidity (sickness & disease) and mortality (death) statistics tracked by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention “CDC” that America “sucks” at being healthy.

Your level of “healthy” is primarily an expression of your lifestyle habits, something that you have control over. Wholistically (mind-body-spirit-emotion) speaking, level of health & wellbeing is defined as the natural consequence of your lifestyle habits expressed as the thoughts you think, the emotions you feel, your spiritual awareness, and how you treat or mistreat your physical body.

Some of my favorite Biohacks (your daily arsenal) to strengthen your body’s natural immunity:

  1. Fresh Air & Sunshine…get outdoors, in nature for 20-30 minutes a day. 
  2. You gotta move your body…20 minutes a day of rigorous physical activity …“rigorous” = heavy breathing + increase heart rate + sweating
  3. Meditation or deep breathing exercise…whenever you find your stress level starting to rise…if only for 5 minutes. Quick and effective deep breathing exercise: Step 1- slow 10 second inhalation through your nose, Step 2 – hold for 10 seconds, Step 3 – slow 10 second exhalation through the mouth, Step 4- hold for 10 second…repeat Steps1–4 three times.
  4. Cold showers (as cold as it gets) for 2 minutes following your warm shower.
  5. Sweat…hit the sauna 3x’s per week for 20 minutes sessions to sweat out the toxins. Great place to do some stretching!
  6. Nutritional supplement protocol – the daily basics – all have anti-viral properties that are beneficial to the body (split AM & PM):
  • Vitamin D3 (sublingual)- 10,000IU (5000IU AM / 5000IU PM)
  • Vitamin C (liposomal)- 5000–10,000mg (2500–5000mg AM / 2500–5000mg PM)
  • Zinc- 30–60 mg (15–30mg AM / 15–30mg PM)
  • Activated K2- per recommended dosage on label (works together synergistically with Vitamin D3)
  • Quercetin- per recommended dosage on label (works together synergistically with Zinc to help move Zinc into the center of the cell)

Healing Insight Blog #1

Having listened to the Jordan Peterson Podcast: Enlightenment and the Righteous Mind with Steven Pinkers & Jonathan Haidt, December 2021 (most interesting and engaging) I felt compelled to reach out to share the following thoughts with the believe that what I share may provide additional insights, the awareness of which you already possess although not necessarily by your broader lay audience) into two of the questions you raise:

Q1. “Difficult to make the topic of “human wellbeing” inspiring…why?” Issue: Emotional healing as the cornerstone upon which all wellbeing is founded. Discussion: I’m not surprised for a variety of reason. Based upon my past 40 years in healthcare as practitioner and educator and then the most recent 29 of the 40 emersed in my own healing journey and intimately involved in facilitating emotional healing for others…first, wellbeing for others can only exist as a natural extension of wellbeing for self. 

Achieving personal “wellbeing” (including mind, body, spirit, emotion) only happens as a natural consequence of the “emotional healing” that has to occur…as a result of specific, proactive implementations, each unique designed to each individual’s personal circumstances (not well understood by many) that result in underlying energetic paradigm shifts. As you are well aware, a rigorous journey, not for the faint of heart. The process is not necessarily a “fun” or “exciting” process as much as it is a “fearful” process for most, requiring strength of character as merely one key ingredient necessary for success.

Part 2 Q2. “…romantic attraction or drama being offered to adolescents that the ‘rational approach’ doesn’t seem to know how to engender, and I don’t know how to solve that problem, I think it’s a terrible problem” (Pinkers…how much can you engage people without the trappings of religion or pseudo-religion and engender a “problem solving” mindset vs a “struggle” mindset?) A2. I suggest that maybe the focus being placed upon attempting to engage adolescence in a “rational thought & problem solving mindset” instead of “emotional healing” as the primary goal may be a misplaced focus and the wrong question…you may be aiming at the wrong target based upon what you are trying to accomplish….Why?

I offer the following discussion points for your consideration as it relates to the significance and power of “emotional healing” as a cornerstone for acquiring a more accurate lens of interpretation and perception of ourselves and the world around us: 

(1) If people (adolescent or otherwise) are “angry” to begin with, once in this highly charged emotional state, a rational approach to viewing things and “rational thinking” is the last behavior you will most likely expect/elicit, 

(2) it appears that an underlying common denominator of people at either end of the polarized political spectrum is “anger”, 

(3) one of the prerequisites of being human is the necessity to express all of our emotions, (love, joy happiness, etc. as well as sadness, anger fear, shame, etc.), and in the absence of having either the (a) knowledge/how to, or (b) opportunity to express emotions appropriately, the energy of that emotion will none-the-less find expression as either internalized (with the consequence of having adverse effects on one’s mental, emotional and/or physical health) or externalized as projected upon others and the surrounding environment/world, 

(4) and as it relates to the healing of the human condition, if it is true that “matters of the heart cannot be resolved at a head level” rational thought may not even be the pathway to “emotional healing”, 

(5) And, since from a metaphysical/quantum energy perspective, two dissimilar energy configurations (i.e. love vs hate, good vs evil) cannot occupy the same space at the same time, the unresolved emotional business from the past has no choice but the continual expression of the anger, fear, guilt, shame, etc. in all of its various forms of manifestation, 

(6) As human beings we each come into this lifetime with a specific “potential” in the areas of “physical potential” (obvious…think athletes vs non-athletes as measured by factors of strength, agility, coordination, kinesthetics, speed, etc.), “intellectual potential & rational reasoning” (obvious…think genius vs imbecile as measured by IQ), and my personal believe that there is also a “spiritual enlightenment or awareness potential” (maybe not so obvious) which is the inherent potential of our ability to achieve a greater level of awareness and consciousness. There does not seem to be direct correlation between level of intelligence and level of awareness and consciousness, 

(7) Is not what we are dealing with here essentially an issue of lack of “emotional healing” by individuals who have never dealt with (acknowledged, confronted and brought to completion) the unresolved emotional business/pain from the past in their own life that was “inherited” during embryological development, while still in the womb, and early childhood…prior to the beta brain (involved in conscious thought and logical thinking) kicking in…and therefore the emotional cellular memory, at the subconscious/unconscious level, which follows into adulthood.

Silver Lining (my belief): 

(1) Despite short term events, the universe continues to evolve in the direction of higher consciousness and awareness as evidence by evolution of the biological species since the estimated origin of planet earth 4.5 billion years ago up until today, and 

(2) There is an answer to every question and a solution to every problem. Metaphysically speaking, a question or problem cannot exist unless an answer or solution already existed in the universe (comprised of energy & data/information). The answer/solution to every question/problem lies in possessing an intimate and comprehensive understanding of every aspect of the question/problem. Our only limitation and the inherent impediment to the answers/solution we are seeking lies in the fact that being human we lack the omnipotence necessary. Example: the knowledge necessary to create every machine (from the wheel to the computer) ever created has always existed in the universe. Our ability to tap into and access the level of knowledge necessary occurs over time as a natural consequence of our human ability to evolve into higher levels of consciousness and awareness.

Link to the podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=4tAQM5uU8uk

Healing Insights Blog #2

There is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies in all those that profit from the old order, and only lukewarm defenders in all those who would profit by the new order.

–Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince and The Discourses

Having listening to the Dr. Mercola hosted interview Can Bitcoin Circumvent Economic Tyranny? between Catherine Austin Fitts and Aleks Svetski, I felt compelled to reach out to share the following thoughts with the belief that this sharing may provide additional insights into several of the issues raised during the interview.

Pretext: There is an answer to every question and a solution to every problem. Metaphysically speaking, a question or problem cannot exist unless an answer or solution already existed in the universe (comprised of energy & data/information). The answer/solution to every question/problem lies in possessing an intimate and comprehensive understanding of every aspect of the question/problem. Our only limitation and the inherent impediment to the answers/solution we are seeking lies in the fact that being human we lack the omnipotence necessary. Example: the knowledge necessary to create every machine (from the wheel to the computer) ever created has always existed in the universe. Our ability to tap into and access the level of knowledge necessary occurs over time as a natural consequence of our human ability to evolve into higher levels of awareness and consciousness that allows us to tap into this universal intelligence.

During the interview, the “secret system of corrupt governance” was identified as the core problem challenging the health and prosperity of our economy and society. It is the corrupt governance (through the “control grid”, one aspect of which is the manipulation of the currency) that is the primary issue that needs to be addressed and changed. The corruption element lies within the hearts & minds of those individuals making the corrupt decisions and carrying out the corrupt behaviors for the benefit of the self-serving few at the expense and destruction of the many. Since matters of the heart cannot be resolved at a head level, the underlying issue to create change is one of “emotional healing”.

Problem #1: secret system of corrupt governance 

Observation: the power of this “secret system of corrupt governance” aka “Mr. Global” appears to be greater than the power of those attempting to change. Why? “Mr. Global” is better organized and more cohesive in his collective thought, strategy and implementation of that strategy to control, manipulate and influence the many. For the sake of this discussion lets identify and call “Mr. Sovereign” the antithesis to what “Mr. Global” stands for.

I believe that there are 2 potential strategies to reverse this trend

Strategy # 1: The root of corruption (a human issue) lies within the hearts & minds of those individuals making the corrupt decisions and carrying out the corrupt behaviors for the benefit of the self-serving few at the expense and destruction of the many. Since matters of the heart cannot be resolved at a head level, the underlying issue is one of “emotional healing” as the cornerstone necessary for creating the paradigm shift from corruption to non-corruption. Which begs the question, is it even possible to change the hearts & minds of the individuals that collectively comprise “Mr. Global”? Possible, based upon tremendous effort and time involved, although not likely since there is no incentive or desire for “Mr. Global” to change his views. This strategy looks like a low ROI. What would be the benefit to “Mr. Global”?

Strategy # 2: Using the bell-shaped curve to represent the distribution of power across the spectrum (to provide a visual representation of the rationale for this strategy), with corrupt power “Mr. Global” represented at the extreme left end (2 std deviations to the mean = the uber powerful and uber influential) of the curve and what we shall call non-corrupt or “Mr. Sovereign” power represented at the extreme right end (2 std deviations to the mean = the uber powerful and uber influential). The powerful at either end of the bell-shaped curve have the ability to influence some the 80% in the middle that represents the many. This 80% is comprised of those who have given up their power (an issue of personal empowerment) to whomever is the most influential. This 80% is comprised of (1) the fearful who are ignorant & confused, (2) the apathetic who are ignorant and no desire, and (3) the open-minded who are ignorant & confused. It is the open-minded, who are ignorant and confused whom the non-corrupt “Mr. Sovereign” stands the greatest chance and the ability to influence in a positive healthy way (through education) and empower to reach enough critical mass and support to turn the tide of events. This can only happen once the non-corrupt “Mr. Sovereign” becomes at least as organized and as cohesive in collective thought, strategy and implementation of that strategy as “Mr. Global”.

The Solution:  the challenges facing successful implementations of strategy #2 are that (1) the problem itself is multidimensional (which requires a multidimensional driven solution), and (2) “Mr. Sovereign” appears to be fragmented in his collective thought, strategy and implementation as witnessed in many of the podcasts of the most brilliant minds interviewing other top mind in their respective fields of accomplishment (all of whom collectively could comprise “Mr. Sovereign”). The Next Step: …would be to create a unified front, alliance, coalition comprised of the leadership (from the various disciplines, areas of expertise and masters in their respective fields) representing what “Mr. Sovereign” stands for to be able to step up to the plate a be a formidable adversary to “Mr. Global”. 

The reference number that has been bandied around as common knowledge is that the average sugar intake per person in the Standard American Diet “SAD” (interesting acronym, don’t you think?) is 150 lbs per person, per year. Putting that into terms that you may be better able to relate to…well, lets do the numbers (rounded for convenience):

150 lbs per year / 365 days per year = .41 lbs per day (that doesn’t seem so like such a big deal!)

454 grams per lb X .41 lbs per day = 186 grams per day  (Hummm…can’t really relate to that!)

186 grams per day / 4 grams per teaspoon (according to a 2013 posting by Diane Rellinger, Michigan State University Extension) = 47 teaspoons per day (yo!)

Unless you are a cell physiology aficionado  you may not know that high sugar consumption (which causes increase in free radical production) is a “disrupter” to normal cell physiological function that cause mitochondrial damage…messing with energy production at the cellular level…shifting the mechanism for energy production within the cell from aerobic (with Oxygen) to anaerobic (without Oxygen)

Cancer cells are “obligate glucose metabolizers” that thrives on sugar…sugar is the fuel for cancer cells! Starting to see the connection?

Trivia: Relative to the Sugar-Stupid-Cancer connection, what words of wisdom have John Wayne, Bill Murray and Tom Hanks’ Forrest Gump character been attributed with having said?

John Wayne: “Life is hard;  it’s harder if you’re stupid.”

Bill Murray: “It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.”

Forrest Gump: “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Moral to the story (at the expense of appearing insensitive, arrogant and condescending)…isn’t it stupid to eat so much sugar?

Best in health!

http://www.DrBizal.com

 

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The secret to increasing productivity in the workplace…why employees aren’t performing at their peak potential?

from “Conversations with Enlightened Being”

When informed that he was focusing on the wrong end-game in his attempts to increase employee productivity in the workplace, the frustrated CEO stammered “What do you mean?” EB replied…”What is optimal performance and productivity really all about, at a fundamental level? Is it not merely the expression and natural consequence of where an individual is, during that time in their life, on his/her personal journey to reach their highest human potential – a direct reflection of their personal healing journey…and, the rate-limiting factor to a person reaching their highest human potential? Self-esteem! And what determines self-esteem… an individual’s “perception” of themselves! So if it is really fundamentally about “perception”…then, how do you raise an individual’s self-esteem? How do you change a person’s “perception” about him/herself? Answer…by mirroring back to him, in every human encounter in every situation, that he is more lovable than his perception of himself at that moment, and doing so on a consistent basis…especially during those less-than-admirable behavioral moments. So it is a simple matter of creating a ‘nurturing environment’ for your employees.”

Looking a little disoriented the CEO asked, “So why does that work?” …and EB continued ”Because it’s about Love and how the power and energy of Love – demonstrated as nurture, compassion, patience, tolerance, understanding, sensitivity, kindness and gentleness – causes shifts in how others “feel” about themselves in the presence of such an experience.” And in the absence of the experiential reality of having grown up in a nurturing environment, and in the absence of personally experiencing unconditional Love, the CEO struggled with the concept and went back to his old-paradigm leadership ways!”

ImageSince the release of her book, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder, Arianna Huffington has been touting the virtues of “Well-being” as the third metric of success! Her epiphany in 2007 was the result of her misguided perception… “I think I was under the collective delusion that burnout is necessary for success… I collapsed from burnout, exhaustion, and sleep deprivation. I hit my head on my desk on the way down, broke my cheekbone, and got four stitches on my right eye…

…by any sane definition of success,
if you are lying in a pool of blood
on the floor of your office, you are not successful!”

Congratulations Arianna, on connecting-the-dots! The issues that confronted Arianna (apparently in a state denial at the time) in her stress-intensive pursuit of fame, money & power are the same that currently exists for all executives on the corporate fast-track as well as entrepreneur’s obsessed with the pursuit of material wealth, all of which being supported by a culture with a warped perspective where “profits” are more important than “people”. Stress (mental, emotional, physical as well as financial and relationship) is the number one risk factor for all chronic degenerative disease and most metal illness – one of the fastest growing health challenges in America – with no medical cure in sight for the neuro-chemical imbalances created by chronic stress & other lifestyle issues!

So the practical question remains…can you have it all without selling your soul to the devil to achieve it? In a culture that defines success in terms of “money” & “power” where the bar defining success has been raised so high, is it possible to achieve or create wealth, if you are starting from ground level zero, without becoming totally obsessed & consumed by the mission? And, can you do so while maintaining spiritual, metal, emotional and physical health & healthy relationships? And if not, is it worth the price you will pay, or maybe have already paid, in terms of your mental, emotional and physical health, spiritual well-being & healthy relationships in both your personal and professional life? Food for thought.

Is there a greater wisdom in the Dali Lama’s observation “The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers & lovers of all kinds.”

http://www.DrBizal.com

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Update…GMO labeling came up for vote again recently in California, the country’s agricultural powerhouse and most populous state. And once again (this is twice in two years now), lawmakers voted down the bill that would have mandated genetically engineered foods to be labeled. If both The New York Times poll conducted last year revealing that 93% of respondents want foods that contain GMOs to be labeled, and the 2010 survey conducted by The Washington Post finding that that 94% of people supported GMO labeling….where is the disconnect here? Could it be our that legislators are confused about where their loyalties should lie?
Could it perhaps have something to do with the fact that Monsanto and the “brotherhood” are willing to throw as much money as they can to defeat legislation that proposes mandatory GMO labeling? What do we find if we follow the money? Monsanto and the multibillion-dollar food manufacturers – Grocery Manufacturers Association (GMA) – that use its ingredients spent $46 million in 2012 to defeat the bill in California. And these anti-labeling behemoths spent $22 million last fall to defeat the GMO labeling bill in Washington. An unrelenting & unwavering dedication to the “holy grail” of corporate existence, greater and greater “profits”, trumps public health. Be aware that the GMO issue is merely one dimension of a much larger movement (if your have a sweet tooth I invite you to check out the new movie “Fed Up”) of a powerful profit-motivated consortium whose perverse agenda has no respect for nature or human life.

From Doug Hills “Laissez Faire Newsletter”, June 4, 2014… “For 20 years now, Americans have been the subjects of the largest uncontrolled nutrition science experiment in history. A great deal of evidence suggests that over time, virtually every one ofthe conditions described as “diseases of aging” or “diseases of civilization” is probably due to chronically elevated levels of whole-body inflammation. This inflammation manifests as familiar modern scourges: many forms of cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, even a range of psychological disorders. The optimal diet to keep inflammation in check is similar to the one most Americans ate in the early 20th century. What we eat today, though, is radically different. The government, industry, and their lapdogs in the media would have you believe that having genetically modified organisms in the food supply is perfectly healthy.” Thank you Doug …Caveat Emptor!
www.DrBizal.com